My daughters are both  bonafide Swifties – the originals.  We used to listen to Taylor's Debut album on the way to school when they were little, and from that moment they  were hooked.

Fast-forward more than 15 years to last November when tickets went on sale for the Eras tour.  I had offered to buy tickets for them as a Christmas present (if they were able to get them).  You can imagine my surprise when they told me “Let’s get 3 tickets! We want you to come with us!”

Now, I coach parents all the time to never say no to an invitation for connection, so of course I said yes.  Little did I know that I was saying yes to something much more special than just a concert.  That “yes”  would lead to months of growing closer and building a stronger connection with my girls.

First, they started sending me behind-the-scenes social media posts and fan theories about all things Taylor.

Then, when they were home from college for winter break, we cuddled up and watched the Miss Americana documentary together – pausing every few minutes, of course,  to share the inside scoop or an important detail I might have missed.

When the tour started, they sent me the set list on Spotify so I could learn every song and be ready to sing along.

Then they coached me on the crowd responses and chants, and exactly what to yell and when to yell it during the show.

As the concert grew closer, they helped me plan an outfit.  On the big day they did my hair and makeup.  We made a fun reveal video for tiktok (my first!).  And we had the most amazing night at the show.

The show itself was fantastic, of course.  But what will forever stick with me is basking in my daughters’ pure joy and delight.  And feeling such intense gratitude that they invited me into their world so we could share it together.

People see the photos and videos we shared from that day and they say things like “you’re so lucky that you and your girls are so close.”  Being close doesn’t happen by accident.  It requires intentionally saying YES when our teens invite us into their world.  Even when it’s not our cup of tea.  To be fair, saying yes to Taylor Swift wasn’t difficult.  But over the years whether it has been the Twilight book series, or competitive cheer teams, or softball, or music that isn’t my favorite, I make an effort to stay curious.  The lesson applies to whatever your teenager loves, whether it's a sport, an artist or a videogame.   If you allow yourself to be curious, ask questions and share in the passion that they feel, your relationship will grow closer.  You don’t have to love what they love.  But showing a genuine interest in the things that matter to them helps them see how much you love them.

And in case you think the magic of connection lasts forever… rest assured that once the show was over, we were back to whining about sore feet and bickering about driving home vs. taking the train.  Our relationships are always going to have ups and downs.  But being intentional about making a connection will guarantee at least a few more ups.  The magic doesn’t last forever, but I’ll take every minute of connection I can get!